It’s never too early to start lamenting your New Year’s Resolutions

One of my favorite cartoons currently circulating the Internet is from Mike Thompson of the Detroit Free Press.  The cartoon depicts a house decorated for the three big Fall/Winter holidays, with a banner that says “Merry Thanksgivoween! Sept 1 thru Jan 1“. 

With that scene in mind, I’ve decided it must also be time to start thinking about our new year’s resolutions – and this year we won’t overestimate our capabilities.  If you’re anything like me and my husband, you’ve never once lost those fifteen pounds or made huge strides towards becoming “The Queen of Organizing” like you’ve resolved every single year since you were married.

We’re already trying to do the right thing, healthwise.  Our current plan is to be as unhealthy as possible…but only on weekends.

We call our plan “Last Call Sundays/Fitness Mondays”. 

We don’t drink anything stronger than wine so our “Last Call” involves pizza, donuts, soda, video games, staying up really really late, and never changing out of our pajamas, every Friday thru Sunday.

“Fitness Monday” involves getting up early and jumping on the treadmill, throwing in at least one yoga routine per day, and bringing salad back to the table…for the rest of the week.

It’s torture.

Which is why we’re not going to write any of that stuff down or “resolve” to do it.

Our resolutions will concern practical, everyday things we do that don’t make sense and we should stop doing them in the first place.  I’ve only been able to think of one so far.  It is as follows:

1.  I will not buy the ugly Christmas cards from the clearance table at the BX this January.  They are not charming and the reason they were marked down from $18.99 to .75 is clear…they’re ugly.

I bought four boxes last year to save money but, when I saw all of the cute, colorful, beautiful, sparkley, new cards on the shelves this year, I was too embarassed to send out my bargain cards with the weird fuzz and the glitter that was already falling off.

So now I have to go buy new ones and I’ve already wasted $3.00 (do the math) that could have gone into my slush fund for next week’s “Last Call Sunday”.

Resolutions are not for the weak; they’re hard to make and even harder to keep.  But when I look at the amount of money I could be saving by staying away from January’s bargain bins in ’08, I feel energized.  I think I can do it.  Especially if it means pizza at the end of the week.


~ jewls