“Finding Strength in Time for Tears”

Over 10 years ago I swore that I would never marry a man in uniform. It would be just too much for me to ever handle. The one I love being gone all of the time, raising children on my own, my needs being 2nd to that of the duty that calls him. Just the thought gave me nothing but chills. But here I am several years later and married and deeply in love with a Navy man at that.

There are so many things I have learned about myself, so many ways I have grown since then and so many ways I have yet to learn and grow as each new learning circumstance comes along. If it weren’t for the experiences I have already faced being a military spouse I may have never learned them.

It is so funny when they are gone there are days when I am feeling so down and low. Usually the feelings come when it is late at night when the kids are sleeping and it is too late to call anyone for a good cheering up. Oh, like many I have had many a tearful nights. Nights that feel so lonely and so full of doom and gloom. When you just feel like you cannot do this for another day and you curse the day your spouse swore in for another four years of this.

The interesting thing about it for me isn’t the lonely night itself.It is usually the next morning. When I open my eyes and I see another set of little eyes that belong to my four year old staring back into my eyes and I feel my two year old jumping up and down on my legs. It is then I realize…Whoa! I made it through the night! I not only made it through but I did it on my own! It is a new day and I am needed by this little person staring into my bloodshot eyes and AHHH wait a minute I need those knees that are being jumped on just as much too! Back to reality! Time to wake up!

I guess what I am trying to say is no matter how hard it gets there is always another new day. There is always tomorrow to look to and although today may be a repeat (Groundhog day) of everyday before it. It is one more day closer to being with the one you love the most.

For some it is a little one who needs us or for others it is a beloved kitty cat or puppy dog or maybe even a co worker. We are all very needed, very unique and very loved despite the loneliness we must bear so very often. The flip side to being alone also comes as a gift of becoming much stronger and much more grounded for those who need us the most. It is that need we meet in those around us that is reassurance to us that despite the tears, the broken washing machines, the myriad of problems that always seem to show their ugly faces during our spouses’ deployment we CAN do it, we CAN make it another day. Through those unique experiences we can learn to be more independent in order to help those who are so dependant upon us. It also helps us to realize just how vulnerable we are as human beings and just how much we must rely on one another for strength. Be it a Senior Officer’s wife or a Junior Enlisted wife we all have this in common and that is a beautiful thing.

It is through our tears that we find like the rain are needed in order to blossom & grow both in grace & beauty and through these unique characteristics that we are so cherished & sought after by those who love and need us the most!

STRENGTH- embrace it for it is not earned Easily!  Share it for it is more powerful in numbers!  Learn from it so that you may grow to be stronger…when the time for tears returns yet once again!

 

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3 Responses

  1. Great Post! Welcome to the Family!!! {BIG HUG}

  2. You don’t waste time girl…..thanks for joining us! 🙂 Great post.

  3. Thanks Marie!
    Hey Wendy, not wasting time in this “neck of the woods” LOL! I cannot afford to! Thanks! I wrote it awhile ago so I find myself critiquing a lot of things in it. Ha Ha! I think we are our own worse critiques though! Thanks!

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