How do I…

Amy Writes:

I am brand new to the military lifestyle. I just got married and moved to a different continent! How do I find out about where the Navy wives club meets? How else do you suggest meeting new friends and getting involved in activities? Most importantly, how am I ever going to get through my husband’s first deployment (I moved out here so we could be together!)??? Thanks for any advice you can give!

Dear Amy,
Congratulations on your marriage! We get this question a lot, so you are not alone.

I have found the best way to get connected to the Spouse/Wives group is contact your Ombudsman, she will have info on FRG/FSG. You can also start with your husbands division. Get to know other wives by asking your husband which guys he gets along with….then reach out to those wives. At command events you can also make a point to meet the wives in the division. Marie and I met on the soccer field and our husbands were not in the same division, so you just never know. There are also groups on MySpace and Yahoo created to connect wives/spouses together. You can do a search for them. Marie has actually done this and had great results when her hubby switched boats. We are working on creating a Forum here, so we can offer that option to our readers.

As far as getting through your first deployment, for me it came down to a state of mind and making a choice to focus on the things I could control. Like keeping busy with work, activities, friends and having a strong faith. To remember that I had a life before my husband and that although I missed him terribly, he was not the source of my happiness. God was my source for happiness, joy and comfort. I used the time to concentrate on other things vs. just sitting home miserable. I have met many wives/spouses who were better at this than others. On any given day I myself was better or worse at this too. I gave myself permission to have tough days, I also gave myself persmission to have fun, travel and do things that I would have much rather done with my husband. He was much happier at sea knowing I was taking care of myself and enjoying life vs. miserable and something he had to worry about.

Everyone has different ways to cope.

I am hoping our readers will also chime in in the comments section to share how they adjusted to married life, made friends, contacts at a new duty station and how they delt with their first deployment and what they have learned since.

Amy, welcome to the Navy family/sisterhood!


One Response

  1. Welcome to the Family Amy! Wendy said my exact thoughts. The only thing I want to add is to alway ask questions!! Ask as many as you can! And to remember that this life is what you make of it. You already know that it is going to be hard, but only you and your husband can decide how it is going to actually be. Don’t let others bring you down, and stay away from those that do. And make sure you are a great listener!! lol This is how you will know who to be friend and who to avoid. 😉 It can be a lot to handle at times, but just give yourself time to be upset, but know when to pick yourself up! Congrats on your new life and again, WELCOME!!! :0)

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