Causing Controversy

After spending the morning at the hairstylist her hair looked fabulous, it was “up” but with lots of curls cascading down. The way her husband liked it. He had been away from home for months and this was their first night out with no children. The dress had been picked out special. New open toes shoes and a pedicure! The day prior her nails had been done. With a normal wardrobe of sweatpants and a t-shirt, being a stay at home mom of a 6 month old didn’t create the need to sport the “career wardrobe” in the back of her closet.

The husband had purchased his dress mess jacket and after putting on all the medals and accessories (i.e. the orange colored socks that symbolized the fact he went to University of Tennessee), he looked almost as good as her.

This Military wife had been struggling with the idea of going to the Ball all day. “Should I leave the baby, maybe I should stay home?” 

*Ding Dong*

The doorbells rings. He answers the door, she is in the bathroom composing herself. She is still trying to rationalize leaving the baby. She had pumped her breast milk, so the baby could enjoy it later. She had thought of everything, yet still she was having second thoughts.

When she came out of the bathroom and saw her husband with his jacket on, she felt a flutter in her stomach. The man in uniform who had stolen her heart all those years ago. She couldn’t let him down.

She hurriedly talked to the sitter, who had already received the full baby briefing from her husband. She kissed and hugged her baby and they both quickly left the house before they changed their minds.

At the ball, the evening was turning out to be quite amazing.

She met some of the guys from his division and their wives. He looked at her with that spark in his eyes and they were flirting with one another and for once in a long time they were beginning to relax and enjoy each other’s company as husband and wife vs. dad and mom.

And then….

out of the corner of her eye she saw….no it couldn’t be…..a ….baby.

As they made their way to their table, the baby came closer. Oh no! The mom and the baby sat at their table.



More Guilt.

The side conversation between the “guys”.

Guy1: Whose wife is that?

Her Husband: Oh no, my wife is not going to take this well. We just left our 6 month at home and she was a wreck leaving her for the first time.

Overhearing the CO: Oh, Mrs. So-So, thank you for coming. Your baby will definitely liven up the evening.

Guy1 and Husband: (Snicker at each other). 

Guy1: Who’s wife is that?!

Husband: This is not good.

In the background:

Sr. Chief: What the *!@*! Hell is a baby doing here?! Sir, this isn’t exactly the best place for baby (as he takes a drink of his Sam Adams).


That is just one of the reasons why babies do not belong at a ball. 

Recently over at they had a post on this subject.  They had comments come through for and against.  I thought since we are in Sub Ball season, I’d write my thoughts on it here.  Plus, Im new over there and I really didn’t want to cause controversy.

Personally, I don’t think babies belong at a Military Ball.  I have been to Army, Air Force and Navy Balls and have never seen a baby at one.  Im actually shocked someone would consider bringing their baby.  A Ball is an adult function, alcohol is being served, not to mention a baby is distracting.  The author stated because her baby was “in arms” she doubted most attendees knew the baby was there.  I doubt anyone would confront someone who brought a baby, but that does not mean a person should take that as a sign of acceptance and approval.  I understand sitters cancel and that it’s hard to find a trusted sitter with our nomadic lifestyle.  If your baby nurses you might feel uncomfortable leaving him/her.

The bottom line:  We should respect the spirit of the event, the tradition and the other guests.  To assume no one will be offended, bothered, or uncomfortable with your baby attending this formal Military event is very presumptuous and disrespectful.  We should have a spirit of gratitude at the opportunity to be a guest at such an event vs. a spirit of expectation in that everyone should accommodate your sudden choice to bring your child.    To send the message to other wives that they should also bring their baby if they have an issue with a sitter, nursing, health issue etc. in my opinion ruins the spirit of the event.  If babies were allowed and invited, it would say so on the invitation.   

I asked this question to our readers and you can read the reponses here.

We also addressed this topic on our first pod-cast / radio show.  You can listen in here.

The Submarine Ball’s are starting around the country and will continue over the next couple of weeks, so we thought this was a great time to address this “hot” topic.  


2 Responses

  1. You lost me at “dress mess jacket” lol . . .Now I’m day dreaming of that darn husband in his dress mess jacket….Ohhh how I looovvee that JACKET!! lol

    Oh yeah,sorry, lost track~ and I completely agree, very well written how we ladies put so much into a night and how we make the “sacraficies” to go. I remember how hard it was for me to leave our children when they were young. I would have been very upset if that baby was at my table. . . or even at THE BALL!! And if children were able to come, it would be added on the ticket, but last one I saw said something about “adult ticket” hmmmm……

  2. was that this year here in norfolk or was that at a different ball i did not see any babys at ours which was on the 20th of april

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